The danger of hanging on to rejection

            When you really care for something or for someone, that’s when getting rejected hurts the most. First, you get to be ashamed of who you are because you usually label your rejection as your failure as a person – that you are not capable enough or that you are not capable at all. You think about it again and again more than how many times you replay the most beautiful scenes in your favorite drama. And you hurt yourself again and again as well. What makes emotional pain harder to cure is that it really can’t be cured at all by anything but your decision and belief to cure it. People can’t comfort you because you are not letting them. Words become powerless because they can’t get into you. Emotional pain is what you carry with you wherever you go. The pain you get from physical pain is limited when it is touched or when you are conscious. However, with emotional pain, you feel it unceasingly as long as you can think, which means you can always be reminded by your pain, consciously and unconsciously, even in your dreams.

Always remembering rejection and how you have been hurt and lose the courage and drive to continue doing things can really be lethal. It impedes your decision making. You tend to choose things that will harm you even more and will never bring you back on track. What more, you will tend to bring others down too. Your negativity will resonate to the world and will tend to tell them to never get close to you, including the good ones which could be of potential help. As you continue to think of negative things, you fill yourself with negativity which does nothing but to drain everything in your life and makes you lose terribly in the end. For what should you live for? You cannot see that. And you die, physically and emotionally.



            Just like anything else in this world, rejection also has its own share of good sides. You might ask, “really”? With the change of mind, of course yes. More than anything, rejection, that is synonymous to failure, makes you become a better person if you take appropriate choices after experiencing it. In fact, it is only with big failures, including rejection, that you can notice a great and abrupt change in your life. This is because tragedies cut off what has been a usual rotation of someone’s world. If that familiar situation does not get you to anywhere, it will be hard for you to truly grow which is only achieved in courage amidst adversity.

One is able to exert immense courage when he is faced with difficult circumstance. Being rejected calls for the awakening of your reserved energy and capacity. You rise to prove to those who have rejected you that you are someone incredible. Someday, they will regret not taking you when you come to them. Rejection tests your passion. In anything that you are not passionate about, you would always succumb even in little rejections and disappointments. It makes you wonder if you truly are meant for something that you pursue. It hurts especially when you are rejected in your own forte. Rejection aligns what you have with what your passion is.

Naturally, a freshwater fish cannot survive when it forced to swim out of water. The love of something and the circumstances that surround it may not match. A need for realignment rises so that future actions are clear and really directed to achieving their goals. Rejection makes you decide if you really love doing whatever it is that you need to do because when you accept it, you would always endure in doing so together with the new found skill that you developed over time.


You choose you should ‘live’ in your world

            Rejection will also enlighten you as to who you should stick with, who are worth pursuing. Because there are really some who have programmed their minds into thinking that you are a nuisance, you are an enemy or you are useless. To continue making things adorable for them will cost you many things, if not everything. When you continuously feel rejected, you would definitely come to the point of losing your self-worth. Once you lose it, you will likely lose everything in your life. Negative in Math after all signifies minus. Rejection is crucial because it tends to deduce the most important element in who you are – your self-worth. But as what Jeannine Garsee has said, “Accept what you can’t change. Change what you can’t accept”.

For the things that you cannot change, accept them as who and what they are. Be kind as always. Love as always. Respect as always. Understand as always, or if you can’t, then just give them the benefit of the doubt as always. Things get better in the end not because they change but because there is something in you that changes. And for things that ultimately seems wrong to you and really needs change – i.e. injustice, corruption, power struggle – give it all you’ve got! After all, anything that you exert for a noble cause is an eternal pursuit. No rejection could stand a burning heart!

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